Little Miracle at Gullringstorp
This is by far one of the most difficult posts I have had to write. I write with a heavy sadness in my heart. If this were pen to paper, it would surly be wet with my tears.
We took our little Miracle to the vet today. When I went in Pumpkin’s box to take up he little buckling, she was alright with that until I left the box with him in my arms. I told her I would bring him back. I just knew he would be given a shot or some treatment and be completely sorted out.
The drive to the vet seemed unusually long and we both commented on that. Little miracle was snuggled up in a blanket on my lay and I spoke softly to him as I rubbed his sweet soft fur. I looked into his eyes and told him he would soon be better.
He had been having what I originally thought to be breathing issues, but with my medical experience and knowledge, I knew it was his heart. Sometimes it’s easier not to know, sometimes. The vet knew immediately that he had a very bad murmur in his little heart and that it could not be treated. I could not believe my ears or rather I did not want to believe what I was hearing. With further examination, it was discovered that he also had an enlarged kidney.
Our little Miracle was not born healthy.
We had no choice , for little Miracle’s sake we had to say good-bye to him.
I could not control my tears in spite of the fact that I knew we had no choice.
The drive back to Gullringstorp felt longer than an eternity.
Once back at Gullringstorp, I had a real stab to my heart knowing I had to face Pumpkin, empty handed. I returned without her little buckling. She searched me and her box for her little buckling. My heart broke all over again and there was a terrible feeling of guilt.
I hope she will forgive me.
Like my daughter has said to me, this is farm life. I know, but it’s not easy.
Goodbye little Miracle, my little fighter.
August 22,2011 – September 2, 2011