My life in the country with my site

Little Miracle at Gullringstorp

This is by far one of the most difficult posts I have had to write.  I write with a heavy sadness in my heart. If this were pen to paper, it would surly be wet with my tears.

We took our little Miracle to the vet today.  When I went in Pumpkin’s box to take up he little buckling, she was alright with that until I left the box with him in my arms.  I told her I would bring him back. I just knew he would be given a shot or some treatment and be completely sorted out.

The drive to the vet seemed unusually long and we both commented on that. Little miracle was snuggled up in a blanket on my lay and I spoke softly to him as I rubbed his sweet soft fur. I looked into his eyes and told him he would soon be better.

He had been having what I originally thought to be breathing issues, but with my medical experience and knowledge, I knew it was his heart. Sometimes it’s easier not to know, sometimes. The vet knew immediately that he had a very bad murmur in his little heart and that it could not be treated. I could not believe my ears or rather I did not want to believe what I was hearing. With further examination, it was discovered that he also had an enlarged kidney.

Our little Miracle was not born healthy.

We had no choice , for little Miracle’s sake we had to say good-bye to him.

I could not control my tears in spite of the fact that I knew we had no choice.

The drive back to Gullringstorp felt longer than an eternity.

Once back at Gullringstorp, I had a real stab to my heart knowing I had to face Pumpkin, empty handed. I returned without her little buckling.  She searched me and her box for her little buckling. My heart broke all over again and there was a terrible feeling of guilt.

I hope she will forgive me.

Like my daughter has said to me, this is farm life. I know, but it’s not easy.

Goodbye little Miracle, my little fighter.

Little Miracle

Little Miracle

August 22,2011 – September 2, 2011

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